Seema, a 13 year old girl , I met at the gym was admittedly pretty overweight. I remember few of my gym partners commenting on how her pants stuck to the butt and bulging thighs, and probably I did pass a smile on their comments, which made me all the more guilty that she, Seema, approached me to share her sadness.
It was a discussion on the amount of butter/ Oil we should have in our meals that started our conversation, and as it progressed I realized, how important the number was.I never monitored my diet but there she was, keeping a tab on everything she eats, remorseful if she ever ate a "prohibited food', and vigorously exercising 7 days a week.
And then I was surprised by her admission- she knew people laughed on her, stared at her 'coz of the extra ounces...she could hear giggles when she crossed a crowd and to my shock, she said even her friends were uncomfortable in public, when with her. "Of course, in a hip party, where all the women are slim and sexy, people turn around and look at me, and my friends feels Weird and embarrassed", she said pretty plainly. May be that was an exaggeration, but friends probably felt weird.
She narrated me several incidences, I felt funny initially coz we had never talked before and I couldn't understand why she was telling me all this, but yeah was feeling good, probably she couldn't tell this to any one around.
I wouldn't claim I could understand how she felt or even made an attempt to feel, but surely knew she was hanging out with wrong people. Its wasn't she who made her friends uncomfortable but it was them who made her feel weird..........I mean do friends even care for the way you look to be with you, to them it shouldn't matter even if the whole god damn world stares at them, coz one of them is FAT. It's better to be without a friend then to be with fakes like them. She definitely should find better friends-She wasn't a self pitying girl and was fighting back her fat. I just contributed a li'l encouragement but I meant it- "do it for yourself/ coz you wanna look good.. Coz you wanna be healthy , not for some acceptance in family/ Friends," and I think she understood.
What was needed now, that people like me and her friends understand, understand the meaning of empathy and make it a little less uncomfortable for sweet souls like Seema.
Tags:obese,obesity,relationship,friendship quiz
